Tips to Control Anger from Hadith and Duas on Anger Management
Anger is a very natural human emotion; it is also very powerful and can vary in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. The latter can be destructive. It can rage through a person, creating a desire for revenge and pushing a person to strike out at the object of his anger. Because it is natural it is impossible for a person to avoid it completely. It is however possible to understand anger and thus control it.
Why Should We Control Our Anger?
Anger Displeases Allah and Pleases Shaitan
When a person becomes angry, whether as a result of provocation or not, he has the choice to control his anger by responding to it in a way sanctioned by the Quran and the traditions of Prophet Muhammad or he could give in to the wave of emotion and behave in a way that displeases God but delights Satan.
Controlling Anger Pleases Allah
There are also distinct advantages to following the guidelines set out in Islam. It pleases God, and the person controlling their anger is rewarded. The Prophet said,
“If anyone suppresses anger when he is in a position to give vent to it, God, the exalted, will call him on the Day of Resurrection and ask him to choose from the rewards offered.”(Abu Dawood)
He also said, “No one has swallowed back anything more excellent in the sight of God, who is Great and Glorious, than anger, seeking to please God.”(At Tirmidhi)
How to Control Anger?10 Tips to Control Anger according to Islam.
As always if a person is unsure about how to act in any situation he need only look to Prophet Muhammad or our righteous predecessors to find the best way to act. Prophet Muhammad was known as a man who could and would even under dire circumstances control his anger.
1)Seek Refuge from Shaitan
Relax and say Aujobillah . This is one of the Short dua which you can read to control your anger.This is evident from the hadih of the Prophet (SAW)
“I know words that if he were to say them his anger would go away, if he said, “I seek refuge with Allah from Satan,” what he feels would go away.”(Sahih Bukhari)
So Read , A’uzu bil Allah min al shaitan al rajeem.
2)Relax and try not to Speak anything .Be Quiet when Angry.
When Prophet Mohammad became angry due to someone’s incorrect actions or their words, he never expressed it with his hand and used only mild words. In fact those that did not know him well did not even suspect that he was angry. His companions however, knew that he was angry by just looking at him; his face would turn red and his forehead would be beaded with sweat. However rather than expressing his anger openly he would be quiet, using those first moments to control himself.
Simply put, this means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you’re angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, “oh, it’s awful, it’s terrible, everything’s ruined,” tell yourself, “it’s frustrating, and it’s understandable that I’m upset about it, but it’s not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow.”
Be careful of words like “never” or “always” when talking about yourself or someone else. “This machine never works,” or “you’re always forgetting things” are not just inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there’s no way to solve the problem. They also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.
3)Change Your Position
Imam Ahmad recorded that Prophet Muhammad also advised that “If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent.” If a person is trying to be silent, it will obviously restrict his ability to fight or utter obscenities and harsh words. In another tradition Prophet Muhammad offered a sequence of actions to defuse anger. “If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down, so his anger will go away; if it does not go away, let him lie down.”(Imam Ahmed)
4)Relax and let it go
Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings.
Some simple steps you can try:
- Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won’t relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your “gut.”
- Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as “relax,” “take it easy.” Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
- Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
5)Try to Forgive the Person
At a very difficult time in his life Prophet Muhammad went to the city of Taif hoping to find people who would listen to, and support, his message to humanity. Instead of support he found men women and children who insulted and chased him out of town. With his sandals covered in blood and his heart full of sadness, he prayed to God for help. In response, the Angel of the Mountains was sent down and he asked for the Prophet’s permission to cause the mountains surrounding Taif to crumble, killing all of the city’s inhabitants. Despite his pain and suffering something he had every right to be angry about, the Prophet’s reply was, “No, for I hope that Allah will bring forth from their progeny people who will worship God Alone, and none besides Him.”(Saheeh Bukhari)
Allah says in Quran that If you forgive others.Allah will forgive your Sins on the day of resurrection .Controlling anger is a sign of righteousness. A righteous person is promised Paradise and one of the characteristics of righteousness is being able to control anger.
“And march forth in the way (which leads to) forgiveness from your Lord, and for Paradise as wide as the heavens and the earth, prepared for the pious. Those who spend (in God’s Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon the people; verily, God loves the good-doers.”(Quran 3:133-134)
6) Remind Yourself of the fruits of Controlling Anger
Once a man came to Prophet Mohammad and said, “Messenger of God, teach me some words which I can live by. Do not make them too much for me, in case I forget.” He said, “Do not be angry.”(Saheeh Bukhari)
In Islam it is not wrong to avenge once a person has been wronged but to Pardon and reconcile has much greater rewards.
And whoever avenges himself after having been wronged – those have not upon them any cause [for blame.And the retribution for an evil act is an evil one like it, but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation – his reward is [due] from Allah . Indeed, He does not like wrongdoers.(42:40-41)
And whoever is patient and forgives – indeed, that is of the matters [requiring] determination.(42:43)
“Those who spend (in God’s Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon the people; verily, God loves the good-doers.” (Quran 3:134).
And there are many more..
7) When you get angry, make wudu, if that does not help then take a shower, if that does not, then swim, etc…
The Prophet also advised us that performing ablution was an acceptable method of anger management. He said, “Anger comes from Satan, Satan was created from fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when any of you is angry, he should perform ablution”.(Abu Dawood)
8)Stand in front of the Mirror and reflect:
Look at yourself when you get angry. Look at the face you make. You’ll be shocked by it later on .
9)Make Dua if you cannot control your anger
Recite this verse to have patience and get rid of your anger : Surah Al-Baqarah (The Cow) – Verse #153
“Ya Ayyo Halladina ‘AmanoosTa’noo Bissabr Wassalat Inna Lillaha M’assabereen”
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اسْتَعِينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلَاةِ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ
O you who believe! Seek help in patience and As-Salat (the prayer). Truly! Allah is with As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.).
10) Seek Help only from Allah
Whatever has happened has Passed . Try to come out of the situation or try to improve it.Seek help Only from Allah and believe in Qadr.Allah is the best planner and everything happens for a reason. It might simple be a test from Allah. Relax take a deep breath and Say Alhumdulillah !
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