I was sitting in my musalla last night . Every one was asleep .Everything was quiet and calm but my heart was at Unrest . I got up and opened the balcony attached to my Prayer room and looked at the sky . The shining Moon ,the Shining Stars ,the calm cold breeze ever thing was pleasant and Perfect but something in me was not OK . I stood there staring and tears flew from my eyes .
I had been reading Quran and I was reading the verses of Hajj . My heart was filled with the awe of Haram Sharif . I miss Kaaba .I miss Madina .I miss the tranquility of the blessed places .Last time when I placed my head in the floor of Haram sharif ,I felt such tranquility that it trickles my heart even now. I just can’t describe how much I want to do Hajj . I have done Umrah many a times alhumdulillah but Hajj . I haven’t done Hajj . And I can’t do Hajj unless Allah talla invites me.
For a moment I felt that I was standing before my lord and I cried like a baby . There are so many sins I do ,there I so many rights I do not fulfill .There are so many Sunnah that I leave but despite of all that my Allah loves me . Yes, Allah loves me .He is close to me. He hears my Prayers. He knows what is in my heart. He knows of my talab of doing Hajj .He is the best of Planner and he will plan the best for me .
Sometimes , Allah swt loves our tears that we shed . He loves the tears that comes out of our eyes because of our immense love towards him . If Allah swt does not calls me to Hajj this year,its no issue . I will shed more and more tears because what I want is his raja – his acceptance . Our Allah is so merciful ,so generous that he even rewards our intention . If you are not able to do Hajj this year ,do not be sad. He will call us very soon. He will accept us In sha Allah. We will keep striving towards him . We will keep shedding tears of repentance and love and we will do more amal that can gain his Pleasure .
May Allah accept you and me . May Allah forgive you and me . May Allah call us for Hajj . May Allah be pleased with us.
حَسْبِ اللهُ لا إله إلا هو، عليه توكلت و هو ربَ العرش العظيم
Hasbi-allahu la ilaha illa Huwa ‘alaihi tawakkaltu wa Huwa Rab-bal ‘arshil ‘azeem
Sufficient for me is Allah ; there is no deity except Him.On Him I have relied, and He is the Lord of the Great Throne.
Ending with a short note,Keep me in your Prayers.
Jazak Allah khair ,