Empty Arms – A Story of Loss and Grief
This is a real story of a Muslimah . This is a story of a Mother who was expecting . All she wanted was to have a baby in her arms. Every night she went to bed making silent prayers for her baby and virtually cuddling and kissing her baby . Every morning she woke for tahajjud and read Quran to her unborn baby .She was 6 month pregnant .She had already planned her life with her coming baby . She was preparing hard for the welcome of her new angel and suddenly one early morning everything changed . She bled red . Red blood scared her . She rang her husband who came running from office and took her to the gynecologist .The hospital was far . By the time she reached there the bleeding got heavier and heavier .The Doctor sent her for an emergency ultrasound .O my dear ,the sonographer said .”Your baby is fine,moving and has great heartbeat but you have developed a haematoma behind your placenta .This can strip your placenta and your cervix may open any time and your baby may be delivered . And sorry to say that if she comes out, she won’t survive “.
Tears flooded her eyes .She looked at her husband and her husband held her hand tight .She said “Alhumdulillah ,La Quwatta illa Billa ” . She was taken to the Dr’s chamber in a wheelchair .The stomach began cramping harder and harder .The Doctor said ,we are going to admit her and observe. All procedure of admission was carried out and she was admitted . She wanted to cry .Cry out loud. But she remembered the advice of the Doctor ,”If you cry ,it will cause contraction and the baby may come out sooner ” . She held her breath and started doing dhikr .She reminded herself of the verse :
وَهُوَ الَّذِي يُحْيِي وَيُمِيتُ
And He (is) the One Who gives life and causes death(23:80)
She said to herself ,”O Allah ! I know you take tests of your faithful believers. She remembered Ishmael AS . When Ibrahim AS informed him that Allah has commanded to slaughter him ,his dearest Son . He said , “O my dear father do not Worry .In sha Allah you will find me among the Sabireen “. So she reminded herself of this verse and repeated it again and again.
سَتَجِدُنِي إِن شَاءَ اللَّهُ مِنَ الصَّابِرِينَ
“In sha Allah you will find me among the Sabireen
As she was reading the verse ,the nurse came again and she took her for another ultrasound which revealed that her cervix had started to open and although the baby was fine ,it won’t live once it comes out .She became sad and her husband became sad.Tears rolled down her eyes . Her husband hugged her tight and comforted her . She felt his love and She did shukr .
After some time,the nurse came to inform her husband that they needed to prepare for blood .” Anything can happen”, She said . You need to sign some documents ,she continued. Her Husband Became Very Worried . There Was No Friend and Family to console him . And She Became Worried too. All types of thought began to come in her mind. She called her husband close and said to him , ” I don’t know I will live or not but I want you to name our child Asma and do her aqeeqa . I am happy with the Qadr of Allah . SubhanAllah ! All praise belongs to Him. How infinite is his mercy . If He takes my child away from me ,he promises me a house in Jannnah and if He causes me to die during childbirth,it causes me to enter jannah .”
O dear , “have you heard the hadith of the Prophet that Once Prophet Muhammad SAW saw in a dream a garden wherein there is a man surrounded by many children ? The man was Prophet Ibrahim (Abraham) and children are all children who die before the age of puberty. Commenting on this, the Companions inquired, “Including the children of polytheists?” and the Prophet (peace be upon him) replied, “Yes, including the children of polytheists.” (Al Bukhari)
She controlled her tears and smiled at him .We are not loosing our baby .We are returning our baby to Allah. “
I remember this hadeeth ,She Continued ..”If a child passes away, Allah says to His Angels, ‘Did you take the soul of My servant’s child?’ And the Angels would say, ‘Yes’. Thereupon Allah would say to them, ‘Did you take away the apple of his/her heart?’ ‘Yes,’ the angels would reply. Then Allah asks them, ‘And what did my servant say?’ And the Angels would say: ‘He/she has thanked You and committed all his/her affairs to You.’ Then Allah would say: ‘Then build a house in Paradise for My servant and name it the “House of Thankfulness.” (At-Tirmidhi)
Let us not get saddened by this apparent loss . Allah’s mercy is indefinite .In sha Allah he will recompense us with what is better for us . She comforted her husband and asked him to rest .Soon,at midnight the child was delivered normally without the need of any operation or D & C . They thanked Allah
الحمد للهِ إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ
Alhumdulillah Inna lillahi wa inna elaihe rajeun.
The child was named Asma . Her Aqeeqa was performed and namaze zanaza was read .She was buried in the pure Valley of Madina .
May Allah give sabar and Shukr to all Parents struggling with complicated Pregnancy and to Parents who deal with sudden loss of their child .And Please make Dua that Allah recompense the couple with a pious Child . May Allah forgive our mistakes and shortcomings and enter us in the garden of muttaqins and shakireens . Ameen Ya Rab .
Remember me in Your Duas . Jazak Allah Khair.