Being grateful to Husband is one area that all woman needs to work on. As a Woman we have hormonal change and our emotional needs which sometimes trigger us to be ungrateful to our husband. This article is a reminder to myself and to all the woman who want an easy success in the hereafter through the pleasure of the husband.
How to Solve marital issue considering Nikah as an ibadah?
Hadith on being grateful to husband-Hadith #1
It is narrated in a hadith that Jabir said: “I attended the prayer with the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) on the day of ‘Eid. He started with the prayer before the Khutbah, with no Adhan and no Iqamah. When he finished the prayer, he stood leaning on Bilal, and he praised and glorified Allah (SWT) and exhorted the people, reminding them and urging them to obey Allah (SWT). Then he moved away and went to the women, and Bilal was with him.
He commanded them to fear Allah (SWT) and exhorted them and reminded them. He praised and glorified Allah, then he urged them to obey Allah, then he said: ‘Give charity, for most of you are the fuel of Hell.’ A lowly woman with dark cheeks said: ‘Why, O Messenger of Allah?’ He said: ‘You complain a great deal and are ungrateful to your husbands.’ They started taking off their necklaces, earrings and rings, throwing them into Bilal’s garment, giving them in charity.” (ref: Sunan an-Nasa’i 1575)
Hadith on being grateful to husband-Hadith #2
Imam Bukhari writes in his book under the heading- باب كُفْرَانِ الْعَشِيرِ وَكُفْرٍ دُونَ كُفْرٍ : that being ungrateful to husband is a form of kufr.
Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas:The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful.” It was asked, “Do they disbelieve in Allah?” (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, “They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, ‘I have never received any good from you.” (ref -Sahih al-Bukhari 29)
Being grateful to Husband: How do you appreciate your husband in a good way?
- spend your days focusing on all of the wrong things he does will not help you, Focus on the good.
- Show him an appreciation for all the effort he does towards you
- Remember that he protected you from your worst nightmares and works hard every day so that you can fulfill your dreams.
- Focus on the big picture and look beyond your own happiness
- If someone constantly criticise, it becomes a mode of operation. The same holds true for gratitude. If you lean toward thankful thoughts and speech, then that becomes your usual response. Whatever you fixate on will then flow from the inside out.
- If you are struggling with appreciation, you are more than likely struggling with forgiveness and grace as well. When gratitude is lacking, discontent will settle in the heart.
- Remind Yourself that Nikah is an Ibadah and by being a good spouse you earn the qubuliyat of Allah
- Shaitan is most pleased when spouse fight. Try to remind this to yourself and control your nafs. Put yourself in his shoes and focus on the good picture.
How do you express gratitude to your spouse?
There are 2 languages of Love. Some like to feel loved and some like to hear it. It is wise to balance both. Sometimes your spouse may want a prove of your love which you can show them by doing things that they love, by being there for them, fulfilling their expectations etc while at times you need to express yourself verbally. Remember that as a married couple you are blessed to have a partner who can love you and take care of your need. Always being critical to them won’t help you in a relationship. Try to focus on their good. Having a gratitude diary especially for the husband is a great idea.
Nevertheless
Give sadaqa as we are commanded to do in the above hadith and pray to Allah to give true Love between you and your spouse.
