Disobedience to Parents;Warning from Quran and Hadith

Assalamu Alaikum wrwb,Today I would like to talk about something that is a matter of concern regarding the youth of today.

Disobedience to Parents

I came across this news,

News: Cuttack,Aug 9, 2020: In an inhuman and shocking incident, a son thrashed his father and mother, then forced them to leave house on a rainy night at Basudevpur village under Mahanga Tehsil in Cuttack district of Odisha.Sources said that, the elderly couple Mohammad Jae Ruddhin and wife Gandhi Bibi were beaten and tortured by their son and his wife on a daily basis.(1)

It is strange that this type of incident is happening in Muslim houses.

Teaching Teenagers to be dutiful to Parents in light of Quran and Sunnah.

We need to teach the children from an early age that Disobedience to Parents  or ‘Uqūq al-Wālidayn (Arabic: عقوق الوالدین) is among greater sins and moral vices referring to any form of annoying father and mother or either of them by tongue or action.

Disobedience and aggresive behaviour is one of the most concerning Youth issues in this day and age. If we talk to our kids and address them with reference to Quran and Sunnah ( and I highly recommend it ) they will surely understand and would try to change their behaviour.Allah willing..

Sayyiduna Abu Bakrah (radiyallahu ‘anhu) reports that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) asked, “Should I not inform you of the most major sins?’ The Sahabah (radiyallahu ‘anhum) replied, ‘Most certainly O Rasulullah.’ Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘Ascribing partners to Allah and disobedience to parents…’”

Some versions suggest that Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) repeated the question thrice.(Sahih Bukhari, Hadith: 2654, 5976, 6273, 6919 and Sahih Muslim, Hadith: 87)

Quran’s command with regards to Mother / Father / Parents

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَى وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ

1. “And [Allah says:] ‘We have enjoined upon man goodness towards his parents: his mother bore him by bearing strain upon strain, and his utter dependence on her lasted two years:  [hence, O man,] be grateful towards Me and towards thy parents, [and remember that] with Me is all journeys’ end.Quran:(Surah Luqman) 31:14

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ إِحْسَانًا ۖ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ كُرْهًا وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًا ۖ وَحَمْلُهُ وَفِصَالُهُ ثَلَاثُونَ شَهْرًا ۚ حَتَّىٰ إِذَا بَلَغَ أَشُدَّهُ وَبَلَغَ أَرْبَعِينَ سَنَةً قَالَ رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِي أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتِي أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَالِدَيَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَالِحًا تَرْضَاهُ وَأَصْلِحْ لِي فِي ذُرِّيَّتِي ۖ إِنِّي تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِنِّي مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِينَ – 46:15

2. We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months. … …(Quran 46-15)

وَاللّهُ أَخْرَجَكُم مِّن بُطُونِ أُمَّهَاتِكُمْ لاَ تَعْلَمُونَ شَيْئًا وَجَعَلَ لَكُمُ الْسَّمْعَ وَالأَبْصَارَ وَالأَفْئِدَةَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَشْكُرُونَ

3. And God has brought you forth from your mothers’ wombs knowing nothing-but He has endowed you with hearing, and sight, and minds, so that you might have cause to be grateful.(Quran:16:78)

وَبَرًّا بِوَالِدَتِي وَلَمْ يَجْعَلْنِي جَبَّارًا شَقِيًّا

4. and [has endowed me with] piety towards my mother; and He has not made me haughty or bereft of grace.

وَإِذْ أَخَذْنَا مِيثَاقَ بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ لَا تَعْبُدُونَ إِلَّا اللَّهَ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا وَذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَالْيَتَامَىٰ وَالْمَسَاكِينِ وَقُولُوا لِلنَّاسِ حُسْنًا وَأَقِيمُوا الصَّلَاةَ وَآتُوا الزَّكَاةَ ثُمَّ تَوَلَّيْتُمْ إِلَّا قَلِيلًا مِّنكُمْ وَأَنتُم مُّعْرِضُونَ – 2:83

5. “And (remember) when We made a covenant with the children of Israel, (saying): worship none save Allah (only), and be good to parents…..”(Quran:2:83)

قُلْ تَعَالَوْا أَتْلُ مَا حَرَّمَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ ۖ أَلَّا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۖ وَلَا تَقْتُلُوا أَوْلَادَكُم مِّنْ إِمْلَاقٍ ۖ نَّحْنُ نَرْزُقُكُمْ وَإِيَّاهُمْ ۖ وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الْفَوَاحِشَ مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَمَا بَطَنَ ۖ وَلَا تَقْتُلُوا النَّفْسَ الَّتِي حَرَّمَ اللَّهُ إِلَّا بِالْحَقِّ ۚ ذَٰلِكُمْ وَصَّاكُم بِهِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَعْقِلُونَ – 6:151

6. “Say: Come, I will recite unto you that which your Lord has made a sacred duty for you; that you ascribe nothing as partner unto Him and that you do good to parents…….“(Quran 6:151)

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا – 17:23

وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا – 17:24

7. “Your Lord had decreed, that you worship none save Him, and (that you show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with you, say not “Uff” unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word. And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both, as they did care for me when I was young.” [Quran 17:23-24]

There are also Hadith warning about the disobedience to Parents and command to be dutiful to Parents

1. Abu Hurayra ra reported:”A man came to the Prophet of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and asked, ‘What do you command me to do?’ He replied, ‘Be dutiful towards your mother.’ Then he asked him the same question again and he replied, ‘Be dutiful towards your mother.’ He repeated it yet again and the Prophet replied, ‘Be dutiful towards your mother.’ Then he put the question a fourth time and the Prophet said, ‘Be dutiful towards your father.'”Grade : Sahih (Al-Albani)Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 6
2. Abu Hazim reported that Abu Murra, the mawla of Umm Hani’ bint Abi Talib had told him that he rode with Abu Hurayra to his land in al-‘Aqiq. When he entered his land, he shouted out in his loudest voice, “Peace be upon you, mother, and the mercy of Allah and His blessing!” She replied, “And peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah and His blessing.” He said, “May Allah have mercy on you as you raised me when I was a child.” She replied, “My son, may Allah repay you well and be pleased with you as you were dutiful towards me when I was old.”Grade : Hasan (Al-Albani), Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 14

Lesson :

We should be grateful to our Parents and infact make dua for them after every Salah.

Dua in the above hadeeth:

رَحِمَكِ اللَّهُ رَبَّيْتِنِي صَغِيرًا

“May Allah have mercy on you as you raised me when I was a child.

The Reply of the mother to the invocation of his child:

يَا بُنَيَّ، وَأَنْتَ فَجَزَاكَ اللَّهُ خَيْرًا وَرَضِيَ عَنْكَ كَمَا بَرَرْتَنِي كَبِيرًا

“My son, may Allah repay you well and be pleased with you as you were dutiful towards me when I was old.”

May Allah help us to Love and honor our Parents.May Allah help us to be respectful children to our parents. Ameen.

Also read : Pain of a mother whose Son doesn’t care and Dua for Parents